the PPAB period for Media Aesculapius will start soon.. I'm currently in the pre-PPAB period. Wish me luck. Wish us luck. Wish my mood won't swing that much. Wish my writing sense will be around. Wish I can deal with people just better. Wish I won't screw my schedule. WISH US THE BEST.
I HATE MY PERIOD. omg. huhuhuhu. stomach cramp sucks.
you know how girls usually got stomach cramp during their period or during the pre-period? well.. it sucks. especially when it hurts from around 1 week before the period it self. and during the first 2 days of it. And really, girls, do you feel stomach cramp or you can actually feel your uterus cramp? i can't imagine the pain of delivering baby....... T.T
seriously, is it normal?
earlier i couldn't move that it really hurts. i cried. huhuhu.
I hate how human are barely human these days.
I hate those who just don't understand the verb 'to regenerate' and perhaps the point of it.
I hate those who called us exclusive yet seemingly has the intention on making an exclusive peck soon.
I hate those who just judge but never perceive any reasoning beyond. DUH grow up. STOP FUCKING ACT AS IF YOU'RE SOME FUCKING KIND OF MINORITY. Nobody has ever really step on you, has it? acting weak will only weaken you. and nope, it's not that there's some kind of majority at all. you just have to admit, we are indeed strong. you're plain weak. and weaker by acting so.
sorry for the lingo.
I think I forgot how to fall in love.
and I think, if it really just is, the closest chance for me to fall in love, is perhaps that i fall for adek. haha. maap dek. :)
After reading solanin, and perhaps with these emerging will of writing. And perhaps sort of jealous with vanda who's now studying in japan and perhaps will take anything related to journalism. I kinda just want to drop this medschool life and pursue the writing and journalism part. kinda. only kinda. there are many things that i still want to learn from this stressing medschool life and the med life too perhaps. no, i don't think i will pursue the carreer in politics, changing this country. i'll just travel around learning different things out of different places, making comparison, and well... just learn. and write. and perhaps that will help whoever wants to change indonesia get inspired or anything. or i'll just write to inspire people or something. or may be not, i do will work in the government and clean it up my self.
I hate how we have to grow up. it's hard. argh. so many changes so fast. so much fluctuation. i'm not that adaptive, thank you. and i'm moody if i have to remind you. it's heavy how i couldn't just bark and slap and hit or punch or kick people up on their face when they're messing up. but well... that's growing up... and human want to be treated as human even when they don't treat others as one, don't they?
again.... that's just growing up... breathe ini. breathe out. be ellegant.
i have this crazy thinking in mind that perhaps i'm not having chance to travel abroad or study abroad or go stay in japan or anything close to it because god knows once i was there, i would refuse to go back to Indonesia. god perhaps has more plans for me here. the country might need me more someday. and yeah this crazy idea related to that medschool medlife journalist writer thingy. haha.
oh yeah... for pak bos...
i don't know why but i just feel like i have to write this.
you are one strong person. one inspiring leader.
thank you for the experience. thank you for the lesson i got by working with you.
you are one to be proud working for.
you are stronger, that's why you got harder things to get through.
they are weak, and the world knows that.
:D
ohyeah... i miss highschool. it's fun here in campus... despite some stressing situation.. but i do miss high school. i miss mr fuad :( i dreamt about him and cried a few days ago. haha. and i miss my old self. the straightforward frontal mischievous me haha. i'll subtlelize the straightforward and frontal part because that's part of growing up, again. but i wanna have fun like i used too >.< huhuhuhu.
oh... and i think i really do miss masafumi-san. :(
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