current mood: hollow
uyeah i'm so empty that i don't even think i'm moody anymore...
i feel empty, i no longer have this need or power or urge or will to smile sincerely.. not even to practice it..
let's just say i was pathetic enough that i have to practice first in order to put up a sincere smile... and now, instead of getting used to it and become naturally there without me having to actually rehearsed it before going out.. i just went more pathetic by not interested in practicing nor smiling.. thanks.. huhuhu..
not that i completely zonk-ed out not en-blue-d not smiling or anything..
i smile, i do.. it's just.. every time i try doing the stupid practice (that i am actually not interested in?) i know soooo well that.. i used to have a better smile..
*sigh* *heavy sigh*
ARGH I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ANYTHING GOOD LATELY HAVE I?????!!!!
super blogger's block..
yukmarikitacobasebentar
***
ehem.. a song fic?
---
piano after fall~ series
sei, anzu, ritsu
---
If I could, I'd repaint the world
Nothing as drastic like getting rid of wars
But maybe, there's a bit of that too
it shouldn't have end up like this..
or should it?
or perhaps nothing should have started anyway..
or maybe nothing have actually started..
Can't be an actor or a movie star
I can't even laugh naturally in front of you for that matter
What's there for a guy like me to do?
i closed my eyes.. wincing..
remembering how sad your look seemed just a while ago
how messed up, torn, and betrayed you might feel
you must feel..
have you ever had any idea?
how bad i want to erase those
how deep i want to protect you from pain
how i want to put more smile on you..
but again.. they are just some 'i want's, aren't they?
What did I do wrong
Can't even figure that out
Rolling, Rolling
My heart lamenting over what was never mine
is it really that wrong to keep you?
i feel like laughing a really painful laugh right now..
brought back to the time when your mom disagreed about us before we even started..
is it really that wrong for me to have a glance on you?
We'll probably continue to
Our hearts entangled, Rolling, Rolling
Start to run across the frozen ground as if we're rolling
have you ever imagine how agonized i am.. how agonized i will be..
having your brother in front of my door, apologizing..
telling, hoping, begging me.. to wait for the storm to come off..
convincing me.. that over this distance, you are actually struggling..
making a way for us to be together..
yes, it is agonizing actually..
because only you struggling..
can't you rely on me more?
There's no reason for my sorrow
All the more hopeless when you can't cry
So I sing, hoping to bring warmth to such a night
"i'm sooooo not gonna cry"
those words sounds so you, aren't they?
and so i wouldn't cry
because you're struggling
and i can't be just anymore hopeless, can i?
The rock rolls and takes us away
A new life sprouts from the cracks of the hardened ground
there should be a way for us..
or else we wouldn't have met..
so there will be a way..
Beyond those hills
In shining glory
Comes the morning that will expose your loneliness, your everything
when it's about time..
you'll just depend on me more..
by then we will struggle together..
instead of having you telling me to wait in pain..
The small red car takes her away
Makes a turn at the far off corner
Disappearing from my vision
yeah.. i remembered how they snatched you away..
What was it I lost? Can't even figure that out
Rolling, Rolling
My heart lamenting over what that was never mine
should i just prepare my heart?
worst case scenario:
you, completely out of my life
We'll probably continue to
Our hearts entangled, Rolling, Rolling
Start to run across the frozen ground as if we're rolling
i'm such a failure brought to life
i don't even think i'm strong enough not to have you near
***
argh.. dan dikala on a blogger's block.. pelarian numero uno gue adalah... KOROGARU IWA!!
gue tak kunjung kehabisan inspirasi dari lagu ini.. *bowed to masafumi-sama*
lalalala banget..
i hope i can come up with something more original later hahaha..
1 comment:
It shouldn't have end up like this
Or should it?
or perhaps nothing should have started anyway
Or maybe nothing have actually started
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