last post from home this year (maybe)

hello. how is it going for you?
i don't exactly have any idea in how to put it nicely.
so i won't put it nicely anyhow. nice is not me. nice got me flirted by the security guards, which annoys me to the core. (like seriously, is being polite such rarity? and i'm not even polite most of the time!)

so i will be going to buton next tuesday!
have only heard the name of the place the day i found out i'll be assigned there. (or we chose, more or less, no palpable conflict, nice place with great scenery.. but definitely: hopefully no conflict election related)

next update will be from buton!

still in packing ruckus. will have loads and loads extra baggage, most definitely. like i haven't even pack the electronic devices, for pete's sake.

aaaaaaaand... the thing to not be put nicely:
fuck. i'm worried.
i'm not the nicest person. i realize most of the time i'm bitching out. (or maybe that's because i spend too much time at home, where most of the time i met my maids, whom honestly i hate.. one because i suspect her for theft, the other for being oh so very slow (like, how could anyone hasn't killed you before!?))
i need to interact with other people more. i behaved better that way. but now, i'm not in the right shape. so i'm worried. ugh.

let's pray for my (thin, long gone, supressed) patience and rationality.
i need to be more sherlock-ish. i need to be more John-ish.
scratch that. i need john.

i need to be confident. not be some pompous bastard, or an arrogant sod. but seriously i think the reason i'm being such a jerk is because of my lack in confindence....



and that aside.
emotional roller coaster.
happy for 4nin kat-tun. not just happy. i think i'm being attacked by all those performance and photoshoot and plain awesomeness.
TOMORROW IS THE 50TH ANNIVERSARY!! #savetheday .... i'm grateful i'm home for the day. hopefully for the torrent to finish download too!
the one and only member of JKT48 i rooted for decided to graduate. it's apparently more heart wrenching than i ever anticipated.
still agonizing for sherlock, and the hobbit. and whatever fandom storm to come.
i miss gotoh, it turns out. listening to his voice kills me inside a bit. nice to know i'm still human-ish.


and sort.


if i keep on being this absurd, i can definitely scratch marriage of my future plan.


oh yeah, more news: i'm starting to put on make up! haha. along with the (hopefully will be formed) good behaviour, i'll be aging my self up to appear as a proper doctor.
just hope it won't attract unwanted attention. (it has, the security guards. urgh.)

ga mau jadi dokter.
uda jadi, gimana dong.
maunya jadi apa.
jadi manajer band.

#savetheday #saveme #doctor_please_come_with_the_tardis

see you in buton.