how much i desire him >.<;

so somehow i decided to go 'galau'-ing tonight..
i'm actually supposed to sleep early.. i'll be seeing a movie with my sis and some friends tomorrow, and i've just had some absolutely-not-a-routine physical exercise earlier today... there's a quite high risk that if i don't sleep enough i'll be having some aches all over my body.. and i'm really sleepy indeed.. but yeah.. i decided to go 'galau'-ing...

i put my all time galau song on my now playing list.. not that i don't usually do that, i've always put that song in my playlist.. always.. it's just.. now i only put that song on my playlist.. so i can be more serious in 'galau'-ing.. hahahaha..

i want my own masafumi gotoh..
uuuyeaaaah i do.. badly... reaaaaal baaaaaaaaaaaadly...
mmuuuaaach mmuuuuaacch kissu kissu. i want him. period.

i love him.. he's like the perfect being that i could ever imagine.. that i could ever dream of.. that i could desire..
he sings
he wrotes
he composes
he plays guitar
he cries when he sings!
he wears glasses yeaaah!!!
he's hella cute
he's my type ^^

hahahahahahahah..
i'm insane..

oh wait..

seriously

i'm insane

so i went galauing.. and watch his video.. and put all my attention to him.. just him..
i love just everything about him..

how he looks way younger than he actually is.. *i can go tell people that he's only 20 while actually he's already 32*
how his hair cut is boyish, highschool-student-ish yet common officer-ish, neat yet messy.......
how he keep those silly.. what do you call them? beard? oh whatever.. that stupid hair on his chin that supposed to make him look older but actually make him cuter and cuter..
how fair his skin is... fair but not pale..
how his lips aren't the prettiest lip that i ever liked.. nor the most kiss-desired :p but still, are those that sings the most touching lyrics... :D
how his voice isn't as 'pretty' as some other vocalists' with their falsetto or any advanced technique of singing, but still the most beautiful because he sings it from his heart......
how his fingers aren't the most beautiful fingers nor the most envious fingers of a guitar player, but still the most 'trustworthy' hand in my opinion... ^^ ohyeah how i could just give in my live in his hand..
how he can wrote touching lyrics that somewhat linked to my galau situation..
how he can compose interesting melody out of ordinary chord.. he makes his own chord hahahay.. a genious..
and how he can actually wrote a lyric based on something that .. you can't even think of expanding.. like those in surf bungaku kamakura.. all one simple matter into some lines of lyrics that leave you with awe and some thoughts :)

oh yeah i love him...

he's one perfect thing for me to keep.. i do want to keep him... huhuhuhu..
i do want him.. THAT masafumi gotoh.. not just my own masafumi gotoh.. i want the real one..

see, i'm insane huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu :'(

i listen to korogaru iwa, watched the video in which gotoh cry... and i cry myself.... not because of that guy named jodie darmawan.. but because i really want this gotoh huhuhuhuhuhu.. :(

oh yeah.. from now on, anyone that i ever desired or liked or had a crush on or whatever you want to call it.......... but some what turn up rather different than expected (ehem, dissappointing, uhuk), and somewhat lingers a little persistently............ i'll call him jodie.. jodie is a genre.... hahahahahaha.. this far there are two people in this genre.. it'll take me some time to actually get back to the reality and laughing off my stupidity of back desiring the dissappointing... but yeah.. i will laugh at last HAHA

and now i'm really off the mood of 'desiring' someone.. out of the real masafumi gotoh..
not even that sweet masafumi gotoh of FMIPAUI huhuhuhuhu
i'm one cruel girl if i go back off disappearing now, aren't i?
so i'll just continue slowly and see what happen.....